Some people love to hold on. Hold on to 'stuff', clothes, letters, paperwork, old magazines, long forgotten children's toys...
They can hold on so much that their living space for today becomes smaller and smaller. Cramped, frustrating, squeezed, limiting. Yet the though of clearing space and throwing or giving away are thoughts not easily entertained. Why?
Speaking late last year with a coaching client of mine on this very topic, she gave an insight.
So cluttered was her bedroom, packed full of clothes stuffed in to wall-to-wall wardrobes, piles of them on the floor and spilling on to the landing for laundry, that she couldn't bear to spend time in there. It visibly stressed her to think of it.
Her bedroom was not the only room like this. Her living space encircled with paperwork piles, old magazines, materials, cd's, leaving only a small area to house a sofa and a pathway in and out.
We met several times before setting a date to clear. Each time listening to her life story, piecing together a picture of childhood hardships, emotional difficulties with her parents, a manipulative and abusive relationship and her own parental struggles. At the beginning 'reasons' and 'protests' as to why she should be keeping things were pleadingly given even though she wanted help. The battle between her wanting to let go and her emotional hurts hanging on for dear life.
But as we talked and realisations happened and she knew I was a person to trust, a clearing date was agreed.
For 5 hours we worked on the bedroom with her being encouraged and comforted by her dog! Yet from the initial resistance of letting go of a single t shirt something magical happened a few hours in. A drawer was cleared by herself! Clothes were willingly placed into a charity bag, the process becoming easier and easier.
Around 10-15 bags went to charity shops that day, breathing new life into the clothes themselves as they made their way into someone's else's life delighted by their find!
But the biggest pleasure was seeing the joy at beginning to look at her own space with wonder and excitement. And room once again for the dog's basket.
I cannot possibly explain the transformation of the following few months since that day. We have subsequently cleared other rooms, some on her own, others with me. Each releasing their own part of the emotional block as we talked and cleared. I am hugely proud of her and continue to work with her through coaching so she doesn't feel the need to slip back to old ways.
Since that time when her 'stuckness' began to unravel, more money has been able to flow into her life, her relationships with her children have improved, she has started to put healthy boundaries in place saying 'no' when needed, she has travelled for pleasure and most importantly she has a love for her home and therefore for herself. And that is the biggest reward.
De-cluttering is offered as part of coaching or as a stand alone session. It's powerful. I am firm but understanding and always get stuck in to help you. It may take some sessions beforehand to help you become ready for the changes.
If you need help call me on 07833 591 060 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.